


A feather in the wind

by tenmillionotters



Category: Bloodborne
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 17:43:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters
Summary: Everyone around her seemed to understand, everyone around her had someone they could call their own… but she didn’t… wasn’t it lonely? Her gaze moved skywards and she watched crows fly above the city with ease, they all had someone to call their own too…





	A feather in the wind

**Author's Note:**

> Alice belongs to @ vamprouge on Twitter. 
> 
> This fanfiction is a ko-fi donation reward, thank you very much Emil ♪( ´▽｀)

There were at least 4 different types of love. The love between family, the love between friends, unconditional love and the love between lovers. She had never known the love a parent could give until she met two complete strangers who became her family, but still, she could love everything smaller than her like a parent, couldn’t she? 

Now that she came to think of it, what did _love_ even mean? She understood the distinction of the different types vaguely, but it was more than enough for her. Loving like a parent, loving like family meant protecting each other, offering a place to return to. It was warm. It felt like a bonfire in the cold winter. 

The love between friends… she tried to recall if she had any, she began to feel flustered, at what point did strangers become friends? Alice felt her head spin, she tried to put it back in place but it was hard. 

She stared at her hands and tried to move on to the next thought. Unconditional love was something any type of love could be. That was easy to understand but… how did it work? Words were empty without actions that supported them, but she knew that there were people in this world, so sincere that they would die for what they loved so dearly. 

And the love between lovers…? She felt her face turn red once more, she really shouldn’t think about what other people did when they were alone, but … did physical contact define and determine if it was love they felt? Words were empty without actions, still it was inappropriate to think about such things. 

Instead she began to move through the lumen flower garden with ease, it felt like floating, it was a dance for a blind audience. 

There were many things she didn’t understand, but she wanted to. She wanted to understand how it felt to be drawn closer to another person, she wanted to understand how it felt to be consumed and burned out by a longing that words couldn’t describe. 

Everyone around her seemed to understand, everyone around her had someone they could call their own… but she didn’t… wasn’t it lonely? Her gaze moved skywards and she watched crows fly above the city with ease, they all had someone to call their own too… 

A lonely feather slowly obeyed to gravity and landed on her hand, was there really nobody out there for her or… she once again felt her face change it’s colour, she felt a gentle heat spreading on her cheeks, a burning desire inside her heart. 

Where did companionship end and love start? 

She gently stroked the feather and sighed, did it start with care? No, there were people and things she cared for deeply but it wasn’t a feeling she would describe as the love between lovers. 

Did it start with seeing a person in a different light? She lifted the feather up far above her head, the sunlight soften its edges and the dark colour. Maybe so… maybe it was noticing small things about that special person, maybe it meant cherishing them more and more every time the small details became noticeable. 

… just like the black feathers on a hunter’s coat… 

Eileen watched the evening sun paint the city in a warm light, the night would be quiet, there was no need to hunt. Well, at least her prey wouldn’t have to hunt. She hissed as her hand pressed down on the wound that the hunter had left in his desperate fight against beasthood and the hunter of hunters. 

In the end he couldn’t win this last fight, it was time to rest now, one day all hunters would have to stop dreaming… the day would also come for her soon, but for some reason she felt uneasy thinking about it. 

How odd… she had made peace with these facts a long time ago, maybe around the time that Djura had left them… the time she realised that the illusion of friendship and kinship was nothing more than… well, an illusion. 

Still, it felt as if something inside her had changed and she couldn’t tell what it was. The sound of small steps drawing closer finally made her snap out of her thoughts. At this point she knew exactly who it was, there was no question to it.

She turned around and spotted the oh so familiar silhouette drawing closer. Eileen didn’t say anything, she didn’t mean to startle her. 

_Hello!_

“Hello Alice,” a warm smile that the other would never see formed on her lips, she felt a gentle warmth spread through her chest, “Is everything okay?” 

_Yes, it is! I just wanted to see you._

She opened her mouth as if she was trying to say something, but instead she said nothing at all. This feeling was completely new to her, this feeling she couldn’t name. Eileen never felt the need to make any deep or meaningful connections… not after she parted ways with the closest thing she had to a family. 

But this girl… Alice… she wasn’t family to her, she wasn’t her best friend, she was - 

_You are bleeding!_

“Oh… right…”, how could she even forget about it…? “It’s not that important, don’t worry about it.” 

But the distressed movements of her hands, the gentle, fragile hands she used to give herself a voice and find the words her mouth couldn’t speak let her know that no matter how much she’d protest, there was no way Alice would listen. 

Instead these small, gentle hands grabbed hers and led her to a place that Alice never took anyone else, her safe space, her little sanctuary. 

“Alice please…”, her voice was softer than usual, it made the younger one’s heart jump but still it didn’t stop her. She began to gently patch up the wound on Eileen’s arm. Hunters could be so incredibly lonely, she knew it, she saw it, she felt it. 

Alice knew the sadness, the loneliness and desperation that could break them, but she also knew the warmth, the love and feeling of belonging they could give each other. She wanted to share it with the person… the person… 

“Thank you,” Eileen gently patted her head, if felt odd. This wasn’t a child she was talking to, it was a fully grown woman… still, her delight over the small gesture made the older woman laugh. Alice was something special, she was different from everyone she had met before, she was someone dear to her. 

It were things she shouldn’t think, things she shouldn’t feel. Being a hunter was a curse, it didn’t mean that they were good people, it didn’t mean that they were deserving of love… of each other… but she wanted to pretend, just for a little while. 

Alice felt Eileen pull her closer, she felt her arms wrap around her. 

Eileen felt Alice respond to the gesture, she felt her small hands burry deep into her coat, she felt her head rest on her chest. 

It was a fire, it was a flame that slowly consumed her, this thing… this thing that people called _love_. It was warmth and security, but also a longing. A longing for more. A longing for a future nobody could guarantee. 

“Alice…”, the tenderness of her voice, the warm undertone sent a shiver down her spine. She held onto Eileen tighter, she didn’t want to let go. 

But neither did the other… it felt strange, she had build walls around her all these years, she had sworn to herself she would never feel the same pain she did when they parted ways a long time ago, but now she felt a different kind of pain. A new pain she allowed herself to feel, the feeling of longing and belonging. 

When was the time to name the feelings that moved her so deeply… or did it never come at all? Maybe they didn’t need any words, a woman that spoke with her hands while the other only had her voice to convey emotions… maybe all they needed were actions. 

The careful tending of a wound, the exchange of small gifts that might come in handy later, small gestures that understood their own emotions better than their wake mind could. 

Eileen held Alice tighter, closer. She was afraid of the things she would say when her mind would finally fully accept the extent of her own feelings. This wasn’t the time for things like this, it was never the right time… 

She never wanted to become like this, like _them_ but now she finally understood, she understood that there was no way she could deny that she was feeling like she did. 

Alice slowly backed away, she smiled warmly while her hands rested on Eileen’s shoulders.

It was a small gesture, the break of a second, a small kiss on the beak of a crow. But it was enough. It was enough for them. 

“I love you.”

_I love you too._


End file.
